Lost and found

I have found myself feeling a little lost this week.  Not scary lost like I think I'm going crazy.  No, just lost like life is whizzing by and spinning me around each time it passes.  My food has been pretty good considering, but I am finding that when I am tired or depressed I don't want to eat healthy.  I am still packing my food for work and that has been a life saver, but when I'm at home it is hard to make good choices sometimes.

Today I have been contemplating doing Whole30 again. At least a very close version of it for the majority of my food. I seem to do better if I don't have a lot of choices and it kind of forces me to choose the healthy options because I don't allow myself to choose anything else.  My only fear in that is I don't want this to become just another idol.  Right now you're asking yourself, "What the monkey is she talking about?"

You heard me.  Being crazy strict about what you eat and how you eat it can be just as much an addiction as eating all the unhealthy stuff.  You become afraid of food and it becomes your master just as if you were mindlessly eating string cheese and potato chips every meal.  I have been down that road too (I told you I have tried it all!) and I was in just as much bondage.  The purpose (or one of them at least) of Whole30 was to break that food addiction and not be enslaved by it any longer.  I want food to be in its proper place in my life.  I am going on a women's retreat this weekend and I hope to spend some time just asking Jesus what He wants me to do next.  If He wants me to do another Whole30 round, I want to be willing but if He says something else, I want to be willing to go that route too.  I'm in this for the long haul so whatever He says goes.

If you're reading this, I would love for you to pray for me to that end.