Day 2

This is Saturday.  The morning was good with running kids to Band/dance camps and errands with my man.  I didn't drink enough water between breakfast and lunch and I got hungry.  Too hungry.  Lunch was yummy once I got to it, but I realized I need to keep my water with me when I'm out.  It really does make a difference. Especially as I am trying to stay with the plan and not eat anything between meals.   I got to church this afternoon and one of the band members made dinner for the praise team - that was a blessing so I didn't have to handle a lot of food I couldn't have.  She out did herself.  Lasagne, salad, garlic cheese toast and this strawberry little piece of Heaven in a trifle bowl.  I looked at the display and thought, "How pretty.  Too bad I can't have any of it." The salad was covered in cheese so I couldn't even have salad.  Thankfully, I had some beef stew in the fridge that was plan friendly so I ate that instead.  I explained to the cook why I couldn't eat her beautiful offering and she was okay about it.  She wanted me to dig from the underneath of the salad  but I felt weird doing that and I just didn't want to take the chance of getting some cheese in there.  That's such a trigger food for me.

So I ate my beef stew in my office and then went out and hung around with everyone while they ate that strawberry thing of beauty.  I realized that I felt sad about not being able to eat the other food and also a little lonely because I felt like I wasn't part of the group. I could've eaten my beef stew out there with everyone else, but I didn't want to draw attention to myself or the fact that I wasn't eating this incredible looking, smelling and I heard tasting food everyone was raving about. The few people in the room who knew what I was doing were very supportive with whispers and encouragement and that helped.  It just all felt so weird.    Hmmm, I always knew I was an emotional eater, but I didn't realize how deep it went.  I think I need to pray about that some more.

So...lots to think about.  I need to pack food for tomorrow since I will be at the building for 6 1/2 hours.  This is a new life for sure.  I hope that it will get to be routine and just "what I do" without thinking about it.  I'm trying to show myself grace since it's just day 2 and not expecting to have it all together.  I've never been good at that "show yourself grace" thing.  More to pray about.

By the way, Toni decided not to do the plan with me.  God is leading her in a different direction.  She will be working a different plan but we will still walk together and check in on each other.

Oh, I found coconut aminos today.  It was fun that my husband helped me look for them.  He has been super supportive this week and really encouraging.  I am grateful for that.

That's all for Day 2.

ps. mashed sweet potato is good for breakfast;-)