Day 3

Today was Sunday all day long.  Not a bad thing, but boy I was ready for a nap when I got home!  I packed up all my food this morning - boiled eggs for breakfast, chicken, green beans for lunch and some of the salad from the cafe' lunch we were given backstage (no cheese - yay!) I had packed my salad dressing with some cucumbers and tomatoes in case there wasn't a salad, so I just drizzled that stuff on the salad and voila! It was lunch.  I am ready to explore some recipes that go beyond just the stir fry method, although that tastes good.  I just like to have options.  Plus if I find a really good recipe I can make it for my family and get them on board (of course without them knowing) and cut down on the double cooking.

I made clothesmakethegirl's Italian pork roast in the crockpot and it was yummy.  Hubby liked that one too so it may be a new addition to the dinner rotation.  Win win.

I am finding that as people ask questions and i talk to them about where God has me right now, it just confirms that this is the path He has chosen for me.  Whole30 is not a faith based program, but it is very healthy and it strips away every food I have run to instead of God.  I am reminded of Josiah tearing down those idols and grounding them into powder.  God doesn't want me to pull down this idol of food/gluttony just so I can go back to it after I lose a few pounds.  He wants to desecrate it - making it impossible to go back without an effort on my part.  In essence, He has given me a holy ultimatum: Tear down this idol for good or walk away from serving because I cannot stand on a stage and lead worship each week and tell people through my words and songs that say,  "God can handle all your problems" when I am refusing to release this problem to His care.  I've been to this place (sort of) before only to wimp out when it got hard or when too many people started noticing.  I feel like God is telling me to not wimp out this time.  The stakes are too high - and it's not just about me.

I confess I feel the weight of that last statement.  I feel I am going to be more vulnerable than I have ever been through this and that scares me a little - okay, a lot.  I believe, however, that God is in this and that He has chosen me for this time, for this place, for this plan - so how can it not be good?